I woke up filled with hope…and nerves…and excitement…and feeling just really scared…therefore Bert, our pet alpaca seemed like the appropriate mascot for Nov 4, 2024. You see, our sweet, sweet Bert is surprised and scared by his own reflection, multiple times a day. “Intruder!! Alien! New Ugly Lover to mount!!” Whatever he is thinking, he’s both scared and excited, and I really get that today. I wrote a 5-page rambling essay over the weekend with my thoughts and feelings about how and why I haven’t really expressed said thoughts and feelings about the election here. And then I saved it to my journal drafts and started this post. It wasn’t a specific strategy, it just never felt like I was the right one to add to the conversation, which might be wrong but that’s what it was – and it says a lot about this election. It felt to me like once the Democrats had a viable candidate most people made their choice (secretly or vocally), with very few actual “undecideds” to sway. We’ve known this ma for 8 years. At this point I think everyone, on both sides, is voting out of fear – fear of going back, staying the same, or of too much change, of going forward into the unknwon. Fear of their comfortable lives not being protected or their uncomfortable lives remaining the same. I get all of that.
I wrote about these same political fears four years ago here and honestly, on the bad days, where I’m angry at those who don’t see things the same way, it has helped me reframe it all and understand the other side.
Me? I’m scared of all the normal political stuff of any election, but this year so much more. I’m scared of the freedom he’ll give the tech world – unregulated AI and social media are real threats to our kids’ mental and physical health and Musk is buying recklessness. I’m scared of the power of the conservative Supreme Court – reversing the social progress we have made towards equal rights on every front (including basic women’s reproductive rights, not to mention racial and LGBTQIA+). It could be really, really bad. Again, he is not a normal Republican. I think many of us would do anything for Mitt Romney to be the candidate.
And yet, I’m also really scared of how we are talking to each other and ironically I’m scared of posting about this all on the internet. I have years of evidence that people are behaving badly right now and that regardless of what anyone says, the attacks will come. I call it the “toddler-dom of the internet’ – a nation full of anonymous kids in a full temper tantrum and there seems to be no parent in charge. The rage that would never exist IRL really thrives on the web – because social media is young and we haven’t yet learned how to properly behave. Our internet frontal lobe is still developing. To be clear, the internet on a good day feels scary, tbh, but during an election cycle with the algorithm pumping out the worst of the worst ugly lies and extreme stories from both sides? It’s a mental minefield. So lets be kind to each other. My mantra is If you wouldn’t say it to an 8 year old in person, just don’t write it online.
If you haven’t voted because you weren’t motivated yet, go for it. And if you are on the fence, or feel weird about voting against the party that you’ve identified with for a long time – I get that, but he’s not your guy. Not this time. He’s not a normal Republican.
So all I can say at this point is the cringy phrase of “thoughts and prayers”. Crossing all these sausage fingers and rubbing our pigs and alpacas for good luck. This season of “America, the TV show” will surely be gripping. And I hope for the sake of every. single. American. that our breakout star will be our first female president. Plus, if he loses, he and I can go back to having our one special thing in common: our mutual love of a bad self-tan after too much self-indulging. We both do that so well. ?
*Photo by Kaitlin Green